The roast beef is off. I repeat. The roast beef is off. @micala
Also Seconded. RT “@DoanWjd1: Writing it is not at all like saying it. Writing it is harder.”
Second. RT “@sarataylorwoods: Frozen pizza and wine. #adulting
Oh right, coffee
Can’t hear you; I have coffee.
Fat boy strippers make bank, don’t they? I’ve got stage presence, I could do that. Start my own subreddit. #richinnotime
Yup gonna quit my job, start strippin’ in the evenings. #careergoals
Same RT “@KMLaw: I want to become a "Flavour Consultant" when I grow up.”
If I built a car wash of sorts with holed PVC pipework, I could position it over the bed for thorough coffee delivery.
Picking up the daughter from school, “I dared [redacted] to smell my shoe, and she did.” Lovely.
RT @MattFnWallace: As promised: "You’re Moving The Rape Line in the Wrong Direction (That 'One' Game of Thrones Scene)" http://matt-wallace.com/?p=196
I found this in the old desk. Anyone know what it could be? https://twitter.com/reginal...
Got a gigantic desk today second-hand for $10. Seriously large. It needs a name. How to name furniture? Properly?
I hate to brag on my culinary skill, but I know you’re jealous of my breakfast buffet: coffee and Advil.
RT @MoonWolf95: Watch the Lyrid Meteor Shower Peak Tonight http://time.com/71016... » Assuming clear skies @ Rocket City, also online @ http://www.nasa.gov/topics...
Grease cup. Because my people waste no part of the animal. #allareone http://instagram.com/p...
New grill assembly instructions. I did indeed make the proper purchase. #dranktag http://instagram.com/p...
RT @TheTweetOfGod: THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS 1 Laugh. 2 Read. 3 Say please. 4 Floss. 5 Doubt. 6 Exercise. 7 Learn. 8 Don't hate. 9 Cut the bullshit. 10 Chill.
Brunch. As one does. #whenindoubtpinkyout
Whatever. I can still color eggs without worshiping Satan.
Just got word from not one but TWO sources that my Nigerian fortune is now ready to be redeemed. #richyall
If I don't locate and unbox the coffee carafe soon, Ima lose my tiny little mind. #movingproblems
up in here? - MoTO Boychick Devil
Monday. Beast mode.
RT @spiritualtramp: Creating hopeful sci-fi with diverse characters and adventure in its soul. And you can help! http://www.indiegogo.com/project... #FB
Another morning, another day in higher education information technology. Today I will not only turn it off but also turn it back on again.
Great now I’m hunting pokemon.
Checks out, RT “@LAGilman: First rule of 1 April: don't forward any link until you've Snopes'd it. http://t.co/vQwXXyUn7S”
Thank you, Magic Hat, for your Ticket to Rye is at once delicious and intoxicating.