the world would be a better place if we were all Muppets. - VALZONE#SCREWED

My mother in law has 8 grandchildren. I have given her nice, professional pictures of our kids, but she puts them all in a drawer. She only has pictures of 2 other grandchildren that are almost 2 years out of date and one small picture of the twins where you can't see their faces. All others didn't make the cut. She says she doesn't want her house cluttered with pictures. Only one small pictures of 2 of her kids (not louis) high on a shelf. I think it's weird compared to other grandparents who usually love having pictures given to them and display pictures around the house. - Kristine Gray

It feels odd, but sounds at least consistent to her. I wonder if that will change as they get older? - Jennifer Dittrich

I can understand the stance on decorating to look nice, but that seems like a small amount of pictures. - Eric @ CS Techcast

It kind of hurts my feelings when I see the huge deal my friends parents make over their grandkids. If you knew her on FB you wouldn't even know she has grandkids or kids for that matter. - Kristine Gray

I mean, she doesn't even have her kids wedding pictures. WTF? - Kristine Gray

My wife ended up pulling down almost all pictures/photos/art from our walls after a remodel. It was just too much visual clutter for her. I find it odd, but maybe that's what's going on with your mother-in-law? - Stephen Mack

My MIL keeps most of the photos of the kids we've given her in a drawer, unless we give them to her in frames. BUT, most of the photos she has in the house are of the older child. Makes sense as we haven't really given her many of the younger one in frames. Most of the pictures of my husband she has around the house are from when he's under 10. He's 41 now. I don't recall her having our wedding photo in her place, but she does have a framed drawing of Mozart on her piano. :) - Anika

@Stephen Mack-But she put pics up originally right? MIL has never put them up. We don't have a ton either. - Kristine Gray

I have given her frames. She gave them away. - Kristine Gray

Kristine, yes, we originally had them up. Now they're in a drawer. - Stephen Mack

That said, I totally agree with you that your mother-in-law's behavior is off-putting. It sends the signal she doesn't care. - Stephen Mack

I was going to continue, Kristine, about the frames. For my MIL, removing the photos from the frames is hard for her hands and eyes, but if your MIL is giving them away, then I don't know. It does seem like she's shoving it away. I know some people hit a point where they don't want to be known as 'grandma' since it makes them sound old. Maybe she's going through that. - Anika

thanks. I know I'm probably being too sensitive but they are the only family the kids have and it's hard not to compare with my friends parents who go crazy over their grandkids, even ones like baby #12 and #13. - Kristine Gray

What is ironic is that for Xmas she gave us a calendar she made of pictures each month of her and her husband on all their vacations. When she came to visit she asked where it was and I told her in the same place as all the pictures of the kids that I had given her. - Kristine Gray

Heh, did you actually say that? - Stephen Mack

I'd say that's a #WIN. - Jim #teamFFrank

Yes, but she didn't get "it." She thought I meant I had scanned and put them all online which is funny because she hasn't done that with the kids pic's. Why she thought I would scan pics that she has online in the first place is beyond me. - Kristine Gray

The hubs asked her once why our kids didn't make the "cut" to be one of the two pics on the piano. - Kristine Gray

Yeah, what does Louis say about all this? Does he think it's unusual, or does he just say that's how his mom is and that's that? - Stephen Mack

What did she say when he asked that? - Jim #teamFFrank

She ignored him and changed the subject. - Kristine Gray

People are funny, and it's hard to not take it to heart. But she might simply not like pictures around. Some people aren't visual in that way and don't want/need visual reminders of things. She does seem to be take it to the extreme but, as I said, people are funny. - WoH: Professor MOTHRA

Kristine, I think you have three ways you can proceed: 1. You can just chalk it up to what WoH said and that she's an odd duck, and you can forget about it and ignore her strange preference for not having pictures up. We've validated your suspicion that it's unusual and a bit cold, and you have other outlets (such as here!) for sharing the wonderful pictures of your beautiful children. 2. You can punt the issue over to Louis, and have him talk to his mom about it and express more forcefully that it's insulting. 3. You can talk to her about it. If it were me, I might do it in a note that said something like, "Dear ___, I wanted to talk to you about something that bothered me a little. I couldn't help but notice that you gave away the frames of the pictures I had given you and that you don't have any pictures of Braden up. I know it's silly, but I'm very proud of our children and we care so much about making sure they have a good relationship with their grandparents. I have to admit that it does hurt me that you didn't care for the pictures and didn't display them with the others. I know it's such a minor thing, and I would never dream of telling you how to decorate your own home, but it would mean such a lot to me if you would put up a picture of Louis, Braden and the twins. Can I work with you to select a picture and frame that you would like? Much love, Kristine." - Stephen Mack

Answering Stephen, in a similar vein, I don't have pics of the kids up in my home office because I know I can see them any time. If I had a job at a bigger place, maybe I would - especially as my kids are cute. I think my mom typically doesn't like to be typical. That doesn't mean rebellious by nature, but she doesn't care for other people's kids much, and prefers wildflowers and birds to other humans. :) - Louis Gray

LOUIS! YOU HAVE NO PICTURES OF YOUR OWN KIDS UP IN YOUR OWN HOME OFFICE? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU? KINDLY RECTIFY THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY. - Stephen Mack

Could she be better about this? Absolutely. Is she clueless about how Kristine feels about it? Yes. It's something that doesn't make sense for me to play moderator on, but they should talk about it. I doubt she sees or understands the pain it causes, and she probably thinks its her house so she can do what she wants with it - so adding the pics would seem forced. - Louis Gray

Stephen, I am a known monster. The only picture I have up is Braden's, which Kristine put up there on my behalf. :) - Louis Gray

heh heh - Stephen Mack

The way I see it, this all will come into play when we decide what quality of care facility we plan to put them in, and how soon it occurs. - Louis Gray

ROFL... you are a monster! - Jim #teamFFrank

Certainly option 4 would be to play hardball with that ammunition. "You either put up these pics, or you get to live under a bridge when the money runs out." - Stephen Mack

ha ha Louis- And yes, she knows because I told her once that it hurt my feelings and if I had known I wouldn't have spent money on pics. Oh well... I just thought maybe I was the weird one. I guess I feel it should be all the grandkids or no grandkids pics. - Kristine Gray

This is why I love the Gray family! Hilarious, Louis! Send the pictures to me! I'll proudly display them! - Lisa L. Seifert

oh, and I'm not saying i give her a pile of 8 x10 glossies. one 4x6 of each of the kids, just professionally taken and processed. (no sears portrait studio) - Kristine Gray

I say we hire somebody to give trick her into thinking she is on Extreme Home Makeover and this person just does our bidding. How much could it cost? $500? - Louis Gray

good luck! - Kristine Gray

I don't do people pictures either, I have 4 family (kid) pictures up in public places in the house. Two are 10 years old. Im fairly positive this only means I don't decorate with photos of kids. I'm super sure it has no reflection on how I care for and love the kids in my life. I did add a fraking awful school shot of my nephew cos he asked me why i didnt have it displayed. I guess he loves it and wants to see it around. So for him, I leaned it up against some books. Maybe when your kids can ask Granny "how come the picture of me isn't where I can see it" you'll get the response your looking for. And I'm a photographer, my favorite people to make photos of are kids. Go figure. - Lnorigb