This was going to be a #SaturdayFF but seemed more like a Confession. (Plus it's now Sunday.) I'm terrible at relationships. And I don't only mean the romantic kind. I've never felt like I was able to be a good friend. I feel I'm overly self-centered as I sometimes have a "sucks to be you" instead of "how can I help" response...cont.
Anne Bouey,
Stephen Mack,
John (bird whisperer),
Micah,
Steven Perez,
Tamara J. B.,
Jennifer Dittrich,
Mark H,
Maitani,
chaz2b,
Ell Bee, See?,
Stephan Planken,
Eivind,
Jenny H.,
and
Jim #teamFFrank
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...to people who want or may need my support. I'm terribly non-empathic and realize I just don't know how to respond to folks going through bad times. "Hugs" and "Thinking of you" just seem like words and I don't know how that could be supportive.
- CAJ was here
I mean, I'm not a complete jerk. (At least I hope not.) I just don't know how to connect, or better yet, convey to people that I do have concern and caring for them. At least without feeling like I'm only spouting off platitudes instead of more substantial support.
- CAJ was here
Having met you in person, I would say that you are not a complete jerk. In fact, you have approximately zero percent jerkiness going on. So there.
- Jim #teamFFrank
at 41 I know I'm still learning at how to be good - or even ok - at all kinds of relationships. I have used very similar words to what yours about myself, especially the feeling of spouting off platitudes. And yet, I'm getting better at it and it's coming more easily, even if it doesn't feel natural yet. And yet, after the last year, I'm realizing that sometimes just knowing someone is there helps tremendously, even if there's nothing they can do.
- ellbeecee
Thanks, Jim. People outside your head tend to have a better viewpoint. :)
- CAJ was here
ellbeecee, I guess all we can do is try and perhaps the effort is thing that matters. I don't think we need to know for sure it helps, we just need to know for sure we're trying. :D
- CAJ was here
This is belated, but Jim writes truth. There was no jerkiness in sight!
- Ell Bee, See?
I totally understand the reluctance to offer, "hugs" or other words on social media, for fear they have such little meaning when not delivered in person. I often choose no response over one that I fear is empty. And then in person, it's not easy to say words of support either (although I'm capable of giving a real hug).
- Laura Norvig