"If an IP pigeon lands nearby, please fully comply with the following instructions:" - Amit Patel

"1. Remove your clothes" … "2. Adopt the positions as illustrated so that evidence may be collected." … "3. Answer any questions transmitted via the IP pigeon's portable, 2-way broadcast system." … "4. Stand by while your crime is being assessed. Your sentence or fine will be printed on ticker tape in 3-5 minutes." - Amit Patel

One of my favourite sites after discovering it this year. - Mark H

it's a modern classic. you getting the book? - Big Joe Silenced

Most likely. - Mark H