Shout out to AZ Plate # BJB5105 for clipping my car Wednesday night and RUNNING AWAY. http://t.co/ufxErSlbvU
Dec 21, 2014
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Ciaoenrico
Give me liberty, or give me food. Or kill me.
I'm giving serious consideration to using a typewriter, a burner phone and paying for everything in cash. The #NSA depresses me.
Dec 21, 2014
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RT @richardjwood: Here are NSA programs in the past year revealed all in one chart, according to whether they are bulk or targeted. | http://projects.propublica.org/nsa-gri...
Dec 21, 2014
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RT @neinquarterly: North Korea hacks Sony: A security disaster. The #NSA hacks us: A security procedure. @ggreenwald
Dec 21, 2014
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When did "remote control airplanes" become "drones?" Whatever you call it, you're re still playing with toys, you middle-aged man child.
Dec 20, 2014
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I'm as sick as an infant in a clothes dryer on "tumble." And still I won't break my low-carb diet. Discipline sucks.
Dec 20, 2014
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RT @dennysdiner: kids eat free after 4 today! pls disregard if you should be studying & arent a kid anymore, still gripping the last fleeting shreds of youth
Dec 20, 2014
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I get it's not your fault, @SonyPictures - theater owners made that choice. But now the ball's in your court. Release #TheInterview online!
Dec 20, 2014
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Stephan Planken
liked this
"The Supreme Leader... is a little fat turd." LOL @HowardStern Talks To @sethrogan & @jamesfranco https://soundcloud.com/howards... #NorthKorea
Dec 20, 2014
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Sony: If you release #TheInterview for free on the Internet, I promise to buy a Playstation 4 to help you recoup. Screw #NorthKorea.
Dec 20, 2014
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I have an alarming capacity for being a complete dick. I really need to work on that.
Dec 18, 2014
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Activists to send #TheInterviewMovie DVDs to #NorthKorea on helium balloons http://dailym.ai/1sEKACZ LOL - what a great idea!
Dec 17, 2014
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RT @friggenmets: @JefftheDrunk1 how about Jeff the Drunkin Bore?
Dec 17, 2014
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2014 was a good year. The most horrible human being in the world was fired from my company, plus other stuff almost as good. :) #Karma
Dec 17, 2014
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Dec 16, 2014
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All drivers except me have the same name: Asshole.
Dec 16, 2014
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China finds a new way to crush dissent! Uh... yay? http://www.independent.co.uk/life-st... China just made a real-life heat ray gun
Dec 15, 2014
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Wish Wells Fargo would stop forcing a password update on my company credit card every three months. It's written on my cubicle wall anyway.
Dec 15, 2014
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I wish I could feel this happy all year. Seriously, I'm a Christmas whore. :) ❆❆ #MerryChristmas ❆❆
Dec 15, 2014
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I don't like "meal tweets" but if you're on #Atkins, #DelTaco has a Turkey salad that's perfect. Just hold the shell. http://t.co/NpHldvzPI6
Dec 14, 2014
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LB ❤s FF, esp. YOU
liked this
Is it time yet to get rid of my #DenisLeary "No Cure for Cancer" standie I found in college or what? http://t.co/ZMSviSD0Mz
Dec 14, 2014
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I honestly believe conservative Republicans would do much better at making their point if they just tried to be less cunty about it.
Dec 12, 2014
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RT @wclint: RT @TheBaxterBean "If they had @FoxNews in 1865... #CrimingWhileWhite http://t.co/chgI0rV7RU" #BlackLivesMatter #UniteBlue
Dec 12, 2014
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I'm a godless liberal killing America, so if you're a right-wing conservative I accidentally followed, you should probably not follow back.
Dec 11, 2014
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Nope, @becca629 - that was a good old fashioned, "Oh my fucking God in his loose but non-existent anushole." Happy holidays! :)
Dec 11, 2014
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RT @seattle_cowboy: It's rare that I agree with #JohnMcCain But this I will 100% #TortureReport http://t.co/FPIm4wYi3I
Dec 11, 2014
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Hookuh Tinypants
liked this
RT @meanwhileincana: Canadian nativity scene #MeanwhileinCanada http://t.co/xOwGXMPBAr
Dec 10, 2014
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